Would You Date Your Friend’s Ex?

Would You Date Your Friend’s Ex?

“Sure, you can date my ex,” says no friend ever. Until recently. For as long as I could remember the rules and regulations for friendships of any gender banned the practice of dating someone’s ex. But have you ever wondered why? Why isn’t it okay for us to find love in our friend’s former lover? This was one of the many topics that had us on the edge of our seats at the last Dessert & Discussion in Twin Cities earlier this month.   Now I’m not saying you should go scouting out the past lovers of your friends or lay in wait hoping for the demise of their relationship so you can capitalize on lost lovers. What I am saying is, what if your soul-mate is your friend’s ex? Or what if your ex is the lover that is destined to make your friend’s love life complete. Why would…Continue Reading

Dear Mama: An Open Letter to Mothers of Powerhouse Women

Dear Mama: An Open Letter to Mothers of Powerhouse Women

  Dear Mama, I know the fear of raising a daughter in a world where men can very easily run them down, defer their dreams and take over their lives must feel intimidating. I know that the most valuable weapon you can give your daughter to fight back against these deterrents is a strong, independent mindset. I know that it’s important for women, especially Black women, to get an education and stay focused on their dreams and goals. I know all of this. I also know that when Black women reach that pinnacle of success – that point of pride we all aspire to – and still remain unmarried our accomplishments are pushed aside. All people see is a single woman (who must be miserable). Our mothers look at us and ask… Why aren’t you married? When you have a leadership role at a Fortune 500 company, the dream house,…Continue Reading

What If I Don’t Want Lemonade?

So I get it. I really do get it… Take the crap that love and life throws at you and make something out of it. Be triumphant, be resilient, stay moving forward. I’m all for serving up the lemonade. What we don’t talk about is … where exactly do you get the sugar and water? My heart hurt watching the artistic brilliance of Beyonce’s latest project Lemonade. This came off the heels of speaking to a group of teen moms. Here were these young women who were determined to make the most out of their lemons. They were visibly disappointed  in the boys who had simply left babies to raise babies but digging deep within to maintain their flyness in the midst of the pain. These young girls had been given a whole lot of lemons – way too soon… Listening to Lemonade I was reminded that women tend to…Continue Reading

Quit Breaking Your Heart…

I was standing with a bunch of brothas at Music Club. That night the DJ was playing love song after love song. Every few minutes some familiar lyric would play. The kind that would remind me of that one ex, or that one date…you know that one date. Then a song came on that struck a chord with all the fellas in the room. Heads nodded and dipped as memories of their 1st love scattered back into their minds. They elbowed each other and smiled as they fell into discussions with each other about memories of heartbreak. To hear men talk so openly about ‘the one that got away’ or the one that made them sit on the edge of the bed for days in tears was fascinating!  Mostly because, it’s not every day that you get a glimpse into the raw emotions of men. But also because in that moment…Continue Reading

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